Under the surface of codependency, lies a deep rooted desire to earn our own worth. We feel like we need to do something, appear a certain way, be a certain way -- or else we are worthless. And the world (ruled by the enemy) would have us think no other way. Thus is the way of salvation through works. Salvation through works says that if we simply (or not so simply) obey all of the commandments, mind our "P's and Q's," that we get to go to heaven someday when we die. But that's not the true gospel. The Pharisees lived by this doctrine, and unfortunately, so do many Christian churches today. But I believe it goes deeper than that.
One of the life changing lessons that I had learned through breast cancer was that I could no longer depend on my own personal strength, abilities and goodness. Nobody can. And that God's grace is sufficient. What that meant for me is that what I lack, God's grace takes over through the Holy Spirit. What I personally cannot do, God can through me, for me and with me.
The same is true for salvation. We are not saved by our own abilities or character traits. We are not saved by anything we do or don't do -- we are saved by what Jesus already did at the cross by being who He was, the Son of God.
Now, let's take that same (truth) mindset, and apply it to our own personal worth. The scriptures say that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). Before knowing who Jesus is, even before accepting Him, we were worth it to Jesus so much that he sacrificed himself for us. And, as I've said before, Jesus did not sacrifice himself to become worthy... He went to the cross because He was already worthy. No one else could ever be worthy enough to make such a sacrifice.
When we are born again, we become a new creation, a new spirit is born within us. And that spirit has the spiritual DNA of our Lord and Savior. We become the children of God. And because He lives in us, we, too, become worthy.
Philippians 3:3 says:
For we who worship by the Spirit of God are the ones who are truly circumcised. We rely on what Christ Jesus has done for us. We put no confidence in human effort...(emphasis added) NLT
Now let's talk about spiritual fruit. When you have a new spirit given to you in Christ, there will be some evidence of it. That's not to say we are completely perfect and don't struggle with sin. On the contrary, because our spirits are still living in these meat suits, we will always be fighting against it in this life. The good news, though, is that we are more than conquerors of any sin we struggle against because Jesus has already won the victory.
Galatians 5:22-23 says:
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things. (emphasis added) NLT
Notice the scripture says "the Holy Spirit produces," which means all of these character attributes are manifested in us by God. The scripture does not say to behave this way as if it were merely by human effort. If the Holy Spirit resides in our hearts, these attributes will flow through us, without a whole lot of thought on our parts. It becomes instinctive. Again, that's not to say that we don't struggle with our carnal nature against these attributes. I don't always feel like being loving and kind, especially towards hurtful people. But that's where the Holy Spirit is refining and growing my spirit in the area of patience, as well as realizing that love is an action word, not a feeling (more on that another time).
Codependents, on the other hand, rely solely on human effort. And when they fail to produce real fruit or their fruit is clearly plastic (trying to earn worth by "being a nice person"), they end up feeling even more worthless and wonder if they really are saved at all. Looking at salvation this way is like having a lamp you never plug into the wall, and wonder why it doesn't work. Twist the switch all you want, but until you connect it to the reason why it lights at all, you're going to be sitting in the dark. And, I personally, sat in the dark for a long time. But when we solely rely on the strength, ability and goodness of Christ in us through the Holy Spirit, real fruit will begin to appear, and living water will flow instinctively, as our spirits grow more and more like Jesus. A tree is only as good as its roots, and our roots come from God, Himself.
The fruit, itself, is evidence that we have worth, not what makes us worthy. We were already worthy in Christ Jesus.
Love in Christ and still striving to be,
Very Kimberly